Tuesday; June 10

Have you ever had someone say something to you that immediately raises your blood pressure?  You can almost feel the vein in the middle of your forehead stick out and feel the appearance of the redness on your cheeks.  When this happens, our tempers (and temperature) raises and we start calculating what we can say to defend our opinion and defeat the ignorance of what has been said.  When this happens, what do we do?  Maybe a better question is, what should we do?  It is so easy to lash out at people and teach them a lesson – but is that really the most effective approach?  I have learned that when I feel like I need to say something, it is usually a good reminder to say nothing!  It may take an incredible amount of restraint, but it is better to swallow our mean-spirited words than have to apologize for them later on.

We live in a world where we are often judged by what we say but, often, we would be much better off if we practiced silence.  Most of us are uncomfortable with silence, but it can be a powerful instrument in our communication tool box.  First, by choosing to be silent, we can take the edge off of an intensifying emotional exchange.  Secondly, being silent gives us a chance to think through and choose the most appropriate response and, finally, it just might prompt the other person to stop and reflect on what they said.  Since we are uncomfortable with silence, they might think about what they just said and maybe, just maybe, they might say, “You know, that’s really not what I meant to say.  What I wanted to say is …”.

Let’s not underestimate the value of silence.  Not only can it keep us out of trouble, but it might also just adjust the troubling message coming from those who need a little more time to think it all the way through.

Think About It!