Wednesday; July 24

As a minister who does weddings – and as someone who has been married over forty years to the same woman – I periodically get asked the secret to a long marriage. As I think about it, the keys to a successful marriage aren’t secrets – in fact, they are pretty simple and straight forward:

1. Friendship: When I was growing up I was given some pretty sage advice, “Marry a good friend”. There were times I am sure I had a strange look on my face, but now I understand what they were saying. Attractions come in all shapes and sizes, but one of the most important is to build on a relationship where two people have things in common. Opposites may attract, but similarities keep people together. Find someone you enjoy spending time with and with whom you share common interests.

2. Faith: Sure, two people who look at life differently can have a good life together, but imagine how much easier it is to invest your life with someone who shares a common spiritual philosophy? Our spirit will last longer than our looks so, while it is important to find someone you are attracted to, find someone who shares your belief system.

3. Focus: How committed are you to making your relationship last? Excuses for walking away from a marriage are easy, but the thing that keeps people together is a willingness to stick it out – especially in the tough times. When we are dead-set on making a marriage work we have a better chance to make it happen.

I don’t have all the answers to a happy marriage, but I do understand that we tend to make it more difficult than it can be. Find that special person and invest yourselves into the relationship. When we do that, we’ll probably have a good chance of making it through multiple decades together.

Think About It!

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