Thursday; November 11

One of my toughest challenges is taking other people’s actions personally. No, I am not really talking about how they treat me; rather I am often troubled when others make poor decisions. Not only do I feel bad for them, I also wonder what I could have done to alter their course. Consciously, I realize they made their own decision, but emotionally I wonder if I did something to cause their choice … or didn’t do enough to help them make a better decision.
I believe that most leaders who really care about people wrestle with this. In fact, it can become such a heavy burden that some people will walk away from leadership roles just so they won’t feel responsible anymore. (Unfortunately, when we do this, most of us don’t lose the emotional burden that ties us to others, we merely lose the opportunity to help them.) So, what can we do to overcome the burden of caring too much? First, we need to do the best we can do to be positive influences. By living good lives and giving solid advice, we can help people make good decisions. Second, we can develop an insight that will not only help us see when people are struggling; but will also give us an opportunity to redirect them from what is about to be a personal train wreck for them. Finally, we need to be wise enough to realize that there is only so much we can do. Because we cannot control the actions of others, we should not hold ourselves accountable for what they do. No, this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to help; but it does mean that we should find peace in doing the best we could do, then letting it go.

Think About It!

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