Tuesday; November 17

Have you ever had someone ask you for advice, but when you gave it to them you ended up making them mad? If this has ever happened to you (and it probably has) you may have fallen into a pretty common trap. Often, when people say they are looking for advice, what they really are seeking is approval. They may couch the question as a request for your opinion, but what they really want is for you to agree with them so they can feel good about what they have already decided to do! This can be confusing to us, so how do we know what people are wanting for us and how do we deliver it? Here are a couple of suggestions:


1. When it appears that someone is asking for advice, find out if that is what they really want. Maybe the best way to approach this is to ask them pointblank what they are seeking – advice or affirmation. If they are honest with you, you then have a path to pursue by either providing them with counsel about what they should do or merely stating your opinion as to whether you agree with them or not.

2. When someone asks for advice, be honest and be wise. It is easy to get caught up in saying what we think people want to hear. When we do that, we lose the chance to provide them with what they need even if it isn’t what they want. Centuries ago, the wise man Solomon took the opportunity to offer advice so seriously that he could confidently say, “My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments … so that you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man.” (Proverbs 3:1, 4). We can have this type of confidence when we spend time thinking about what should be said and presenting it in a way that brings a blessing on those who ask us.
Let’s live our lives so people will seek our advice, not just our approval. When we do, not only can we help them be better, we can apply it to our own lives as well.

Think About It!

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