Tuesday; November 17

Have you ever had someone ask you for advice, but when you gave it to them you ended up making them mad? If this has ever happened to you (and it probably has) you may have fallen into a pretty common trap. Often, when people say they are looking for advice, what they really are seeking is approval. They may couch the question as a request for your opinion, but what they really want is for you to agree with them so they can feel good about what they have already decided to do! This can be confusing to us, so how do we know what people are wanting for us and how do we deliver it? Here are a couple of suggestions:


1. When it appears that someone is asking for advice, find out if that is what they really want. Maybe the best way to approach this is to ask them pointblank what they are seeking – advice or affirmation. If they are honest with you, you then have a path to pursue by either providing them with counsel about what they should do or merely stating your opinion as to whether you agree with them or not.

2. When someone asks for advice, be honest and be wise. It is easy to get caught up in saying what we think people want to hear. When we do that, we lose the chance to provide them with what they need even if it isn’t what they want. Centuries ago, the wise man Solomon took the opportunity to offer advice so seriously that he could confidently say, “My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments … so that you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man.” (Proverbs 3:1, 4). We can have this type of confidence when we spend time thinking about what should be said and presenting it in a way that brings a blessing on those who ask us.
Let’s live our lives so people will seek our advice, not just our approval. When we do, not only can we help them be better, we can apply it to our own lives as well.

Think About It!

Popular posts from this blog

Tuesday; November 29

The biblical story of the Good Samaritan has changed our world. Notice I didn’t say that it had change religion or even Christianity, it has influenced the world. There are very few people who don’t know the moral of Jesus’ parable about the Good Samaritan. In fact, the phrase has become a common description of everyday people doing good to their neighbors. While Jesus’ parable from Luke 10 shares several spiritual lessons, one of the most practical is that good can be done by anyone. You don’t have to be a church official to do good, it is not only possible for each one of us to help, it is required of all of us. If a Samaritan can be good, so can we! After presenting the parable, Jesus asked the man who had originally asked the question about being a good neighbor which character in the story was a good neighbor, “… he said, ‘The one who showed mercy toward him.’” at which point, the discussion from theoretical to personal, “Then Jesus said to him, ‘Go and do the same.’” (Luke
Read more

Thursday; January 12

The other day I was watching a television show that used a rather common term applied to overcoming challenges. When organizations experience unexpected setbacks – especially when they lose key people – they rely upon the concept of “Next Man Up”. In essence, when our starters (or stars) go down, effective organizations rely upon their next levels to step into the vacancy. While this is an effective response, have we given much thought as to how we prepare to be the “next people up”? First, we must know our job. Even when we aren’t the primary players, we need to be preparing ourselves to be ready when we get the opportunity to shine. Second, we must do our best when we get the chance. Knowledge is important but what turns potential into talent is effort. Yet, maybe the most underappreciated aspect of this concept is a willingness avoid excuse-making and whining about the unfairness of our situation. When we complain about the circumstances that caused the need for replacements
Read more

Monday; September 25

When I was a youngster, I remember hearing about this thing called the Generation Gap. I was a little bit too young to be active in the social movements of the 1960s, but I do remember listening to the challenges the generations were experiencing way back then. Interestingly, now that I have been on both sides of the aging process, I have to admit that the Gap of the 1960s was nothing new. With the development of each generation comes conflict. The young people don’t feel like the older people understand them and the older folks tend to believe their input is being underappreciated. Too often trust is the casualty when two generations collide. The sad thing is that it doesn’t have to be this way. When we can capture the innovation and energy of the younger folks and harness the wisdom of those who have been around for a while we can develop a winning combination. No, we won’t always see things eye-to-eye nor will we necessarily speak the same emotional language, but when we app
Read more