Thursday; August 9


         “Stop being argumentative!”  I can’t tell you the number of times I heard my mother tell me this.  When I was younger I thought her objection was to me disagreeing with her, but that wasn’t the issue.  Her admonition was for me to stop harping on a point.  I think she loved me enough to allow me to have a point of view, but I wasn’t wise enough to speak my peace and move on.
          Argumentativeness isn’t a disagreement, it is continually rehashing what has already been stated.  It isn’t providing new evidence, it is merely replowing old ground – often with more emotion and less restraint than the time(s) before. 
          I still haven’t learned this lesson as well as I should, but I am beginning to see the futility of harping on a point.  If I haven’t convinced someone in the first couple of attempts, saying it a half dozen more times probably won’t make a difference.  Sure, as long as there is give and take there might be value in continuing to discuss things, but when logic and reason are finished and all that is left is emotion, we need to stop and regroup!  Not only does argumentativeness reduce effectiveness it raises the risk of antagonism – often to the point of alienating friends, family and co-workers.
          Let’s treat those who don’t agree with us with respect.  Sometime that involves listening to their point of view, but more often than not it is scaling back the number of attempts we try to make our own points.  As they say, there is a time to just let it go.
          Think About It!

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