Wednesday; December 27

          Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who made an outlandish comment?  Maybe you were discussing their relationship with their parents and they said, “I hope I never have to see them again!” or the conversation was about their depressed state and they blurted out, “Maybe it would be best if I were just dead.”.  When this happens our first reaction is a strong desire to be somewhere else at that moment, but our most probable response is to say something like, “How can you say that?  That is dumb!  You don’t really mean it!”  While our comments are meant to logically assess the statements that were made, that may not be what that person needs to hear at that moment.  When this happens there are a few things in play – first, the person is most likely not operating from a logical perspective and secondly, they feel safe enough with us to make these statements.  They are reacting to their intense emotional state and ignoring rational thought and, interestingly, for whatever reason, they trust us to open a door for us to help them.  Before we go any further, please understand that if someone is in such an emotional crisis that they even appear to be a danger to themselves and others we should immediately seek professional help, but if they are safe, there are a couple of things we can do to help:
First, we can listen.  People may use “shock” techniques to highlight their hurt.  Irrational statements can be emotional hyperboles to demonstrate a need (and desire) for assistance.  If they feel like they could handle it on their own, they would probably keep it to themselves so, often, exaggerated statements are pleas for help.  Second, we can support.  On occasions people need us to listen with our hearts, not our minds.  They want someone to “feel” with them rather than to “think” for them.  When they make outlandish statements one appropriate responses is, “Are you looking for help or just someone to listen?”.  Their answer will determine our next action.
          Thank you for all you do to help the people around you.  We all need someone sometime … when we do, brotherly love and compassion are often the best medicine.
          Think About It!

Popular posts from this blog

Tuesday; November 29

The biblical story of the Good Samaritan has changed our world. Notice I didn’t say that it had change religion or even Christianity, it has influenced the world. There are very few people who don’t know the moral of Jesus’ parable about the Good Samaritan. In fact, the phrase has become a common description of everyday people doing good to their neighbors. While Jesus’ parable from Luke 10 shares several spiritual lessons, one of the most practical is that good can be done by anyone. You don’t have to be a church official to do good, it is not only possible for each one of us to help, it is required of all of us. If a Samaritan can be good, so can we! After presenting the parable, Jesus asked the man who had originally asked the question about being a good neighbor which character in the story was a good neighbor, “… he said, ‘The one who showed mercy toward him.’” at which point, the discussion from theoretical to personal, “Then Jesus said to him, ‘Go and do the same.’” (Luke
Read more

Thursday; January 12

The other day I was watching a television show that used a rather common term applied to overcoming challenges. When organizations experience unexpected setbacks – especially when they lose key people – they rely upon the concept of “Next Man Up”. In essence, when our starters (or stars) go down, effective organizations rely upon their next levels to step into the vacancy. While this is an effective response, have we given much thought as to how we prepare to be the “next people up”? First, we must know our job. Even when we aren’t the primary players, we need to be preparing ourselves to be ready when we get the opportunity to shine. Second, we must do our best when we get the chance. Knowledge is important but what turns potential into talent is effort. Yet, maybe the most underappreciated aspect of this concept is a willingness avoid excuse-making and whining about the unfairness of our situation. When we complain about the circumstances that caused the need for replacements
Read more

Monday; September 25

When I was a youngster, I remember hearing about this thing called the Generation Gap. I was a little bit too young to be active in the social movements of the 1960s, but I do remember listening to the challenges the generations were experiencing way back then. Interestingly, now that I have been on both sides of the aging process, I have to admit that the Gap of the 1960s was nothing new. With the development of each generation comes conflict. The young people don’t feel like the older people understand them and the older folks tend to believe their input is being underappreciated. Too often trust is the casualty when two generations collide. The sad thing is that it doesn’t have to be this way. When we can capture the innovation and energy of the younger folks and harness the wisdom of those who have been around for a while we can develop a winning combination. No, we won’t always see things eye-to-eye nor will we necessarily speak the same emotional language, but when we app
Read more