Friday; October 20

Are we willing to have difficult conversations?   It is easy to talk about the weather, sports or our granddaughter’s excellent piano recital, but how comfortable are we discussing race, religion or even sin?  I remember the mantra several years ago was that nice people who wanted to remain friends didn’t talk about religion and politics – why is that?  Could it be that it wasn’t the topics that were volatile, it was that we couldn’t control ourselves?  We were afraid that the subjects would hit too close to the heart and that we wouldn’t be able to balance our opinions with our friendships?
Now, broaching this subject comes with a warning – I am not referring to the type of yelling matches that are prevalent on radio, television or other forms of media, nor am I referencing a discussion on social media.  My question is are we willing to sit down with someone and discuss difficult topics one-on-one? 
Some of us may have been so insulated from this concept that we might not even know where to start or how to proceed.  If this is something you’d like to attempt, I have three suggestions: 
1.  Be committed to trusting each other.  By nature, these conversations are going to be raw with emotion, but we won’t get anywhere without honesty and vulnerability. 
2.  Listen more than assess.   The goal in this process is exchanging ideas, not testing validity.  Sure, there will be a time when ideas can be evaluated, but in the beginning the best thing to do is to share. 
3.  Smile and shake hands.  Few people ever really “win” an argument.  The goal is to get to know each other better and tear down barriers that separate us.  If we are committed to keep our relationships strong, we will be able to exchange more and better information for a lifetime.
          Think about it!

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