Thursday; September 7

          We live in an incredible time of communication … we’ll let me rephrase that … we have a lot of ways to express ourselves these days.  Whether it is with unlimited talk and text, social media or just good old fashioned chit chat, we have ample opportunities to communicate, but how effective are we?
          Most of us are very good about saying what we think, but, that is just one part of the formula.  If we are going to be effective communicators we have to be willing to listen.  Listening isn’t just taking the time to catch our next breath or even politely waiting our turn to talk (which is even becoming a lost art in the loud and pushy society).   Listening is even more than waiting to hear what the other person has to say, it is wanting to hear what the other person has to say.  Listening is the ability to draw out the words and emotions of others so that we can understand where they are.  Listening is being engaged through verbal and non-verbal ways so that others know we care about them as people and we are interested in what’s going on in their lives.
          So how can we be better listeners?  There are several suggestions about what can be done; but, two of the most simple are:
1)  Asking people how they are doing – then listening for the their answer.  It is easy to mouth (or write) the words, “How are you?”, but listening means paying attention to their response.
2)  Following up after their answer.  If someone says they are doing well, ask them to explain and give them a chance to relive the joy.  If they say they are not doing too hot, ask them what is wrong and, if they want to visit about it, give them an ear of support.  We shouldn’t try to out-complain them by telling them our woes and we can’t ignore the concerns they are having.  Maybe the best thing we can do is express our concern for them and ask them if they would like us to help or if they would just like us to listen a little bit longer.
          Are we good communicators?  We can be.
Think about it!

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