Tuesday; September 4
If
there were an Emotional Olympic Games I would be able to participate in the
decathlon, but if I were to have to narrow my expertise into two areas: “pouting” and “taking things
personally”. I am a world-class pouter
and have been known to mope around for days and weeks. Yet, if there is one thing at which I excel,
it would probably be taking things personally.
I am an expert at internalizing people’s comments, over-analyzing
non-verbal signs and critiquing people’s general comments to the point that I
am sure they are talking directly at me.
I have a tendency to be thin-skinned and it has cost me way too much
personal peace.
When
it comes to over-personalizing things, I know that I am doing it, I just need
to do commit to being better. So with
that, here are some suggestions (for me and maybe you can apply them, too):
1.
Stop eavesdropping on people’s conversations. There are times I become defensive when I
overhear what one person says to another.
In my own narcissistic way, I tend to think that they are talking about
me. Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t
but either way I need to avoid taking secondhand (or thirdhand) comments
personally. If it really is that big of
a deal, they will come and talk directly to me.
2. Stop attributing the worst possible
meaning to what people say or do. It
is easy for me to take a look, a word, or even a slight in the most negative
way. Just because someone doesn’t seem focused
on me during a presentation or shakes their head at something I say doesn’t
mean that they are automatically opposed to me.
People act for a variety of reasons, I cannot automatically assume the
worst.
3.
Be willing to ask people how they are feeling. Those of us who take things personally are not
good at confrontation, but we need to develop that skill. If I think someone has an issue with me,
rather than worrying about it I should ask them directly about it.
Hopefully
you have self-confidence. If not, maybe
we can work on it together.
Think About It!