Tuesday; July 24

Have you ever heard yourself say, “Here’s what I’d do if I were you?” ... now think back to the conversation immediately preceding our statement ... was there a request for our advice or were we just being “proactive”?  Do we wait for people to solicit our advice or are we willing to provide it without being asked? 
The problem with offering up what we would do if we were them is really two-fold:
1).  Most people don’t care what we’d do if we were them.   More often than not, when people are complaining about what is going on in their lives, they are looking for someone to listen to them rather than someone to guide them.  Sure, if they ask our opinion we should be willing to offer advice, but until then, we might as well save our breath – and our opinions.
2).  We don’t always know what is going on in their lives.  Often, when we offer advice we do so from our own perspective – here is what I would do if this happened to ME.  The problem is they aren’t US!  Their circumstances, personality, opinions and perspective are different than ours.  While offering advice is dangerous, it is compounded when we don’t practice empathy.  To have any hope of helping out someone we must do a good job of seeing things through their eyes and that is a tough task. Remember, there is a big difference in the question, “What would you do if you were me?” and “What would you do if you were you?”.
          Let’s be wise when it comes to advice.  First, let’s be slow in voluntarily telling someone what they should be doing.  Then, even if they ask us our opinions, let’s take the time to think it through from their perspective. 
          Think About It!

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